Life · Motherhood

The sibling bond – heart to heart.

A few days ago I was driving Celeste to her dance class and asked her how her day was going. As we got to sharing, I realized a few of the things she mentioned to me focused mainly on her little sister’s not so good behavior choices. So I asked her to tell me something nice that she did with Elysse. She thought, and thought, and then paused some more and got off track and again told me something Elysse had done that wasn’t nice.

I paused for a second and then told Celeste I know her little sister can sometimes make wrong choices and annoy her a bit, but I wanted her to think of one good thing that her and Elysse had done together. This time she told me how they had played Spirit together (one pretends to be a horse and the other the owner) and that they had also painted together outside and how fun that had been. By the time we reached the dance studio, she had mentioned quite a few things they’d enjoyed together.

It really got me thinking how even as an adult how easy it is to focus on the negative. To go through our day and whine and complain about life’s annoyances or how other’s annoy us. I do it myself, and I have to stop myself and switch gears to be thankful for all the good in life and in others.

So of course I would want to see this even more so in my own daughters. I know that as sisters they are going to love each other, support one another, and also annoy the heck out of each other and get upset and argue. That’s a given, it comes with the territory of being family. But who else can have your back better than a sibling? This is your best friend for life! And maybe people out there with troubled relationships with their siblings will roll their eyes and say I’m dreaming and unrealistic. I know not everyone gets to have that, but I’d rather spend my energy fostering a deep love for one another in my girls. For them to grow up feeling that despite those moments where they want to wrestle each other to the ground, they will know that there is no deeper love, support, and encouragement that they can find than in their sister. That after my husband and I are gone, they can have the assurance of knowing that they have each other.

I grew up with just my brother and I, so the whole dynamic of two sisters is very new to me. Sure I had female cousins I grew up with that I was close to, but it’s not the same when it’s two sisters growing up in the same household. I can see it’s such a different and stronger bond, especially being of the same sex.

So I want to make sure they see each other as a team. That both my husband and I foster that love and support among them. That I redirect their focus so that every day, despite whatever annoyances happen between them, they can focus instead on the good and encourage and support one another; and hopefully be each other’s best friend for life.

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