The Performer In Me

Did I ever tell you that as a kid I was in ballet and tap dancing?

Actually my parents had us in quite a few things…gymnastics, karate, I even learned to play the accordion and have a little trophy to show for it. I don’t know how the heck my parents decided to enroll us in all this kind of stuff, if we voiced an interest in it or they just figured we’d enjoy it, or maybe a friend told them about it. However it was that it came about, of all the memories I have from my childhood, ballet and tap dancing is one of my most memorable ones. Whenever I talk about that time in my life I get all giddy and can’t help but get a silly smile on my face. I feel like a kid all over again.

So a few moments ago I was watching Dancing With The Stars All Stars and there was a tap dance performance and my face just immediately lit up and I told my husband, I used to do that! And I told him that I’d love to go back to dancing again in the near future because I feel so alive when I’m doing that and I miss it a lot.

But back to my younger days. My parents had me enrolled in this company called Bailey’s Dance Studio (it’s closed now) and I remember how happy I would get when it was time for the bus to come pick me up and I would be all dressed up in my leotard and tights and my little bag in hand. My parents have so many home videos of our recitals and pictures of me in my costumes. The funny thing is, for as shy as I can be in large crowds and how extroverted I’m not, there is something inside me, this like switch that goes on whenever I’m on stage, and although I of course feel the adrenaline and nerves, what stands out the most is how happy I feel and that sense of this is where I belong.

There’s so many things about my childhood that I either don’t remember or I’ve blocked out so well, remembering it would require some deep digging…but that time in ballet and tap, all the perfomances, all the shows, the excitement, makeup, costumes, and that feeling of wanting to do it all over again once one recital was done and going through all the work of learning the routine and practicing is so vivid in my mind like if I had just experienced it yesterday.

And you want to know a secret? Sometimes, when I’m watching a performance, a musical, anything on stage, I silently dream of being the one up there and wonder, what if I’d become a professional dancer?



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