Today I started week 37 of my pregnancy and am now considered full term, yay!! I was doing some light exercises in the living room and then happened to glance in the mirrors we have and felt such a glow and happiness to see my big round belly and I felt absolutely beautiful. It was just that at that moment when I looked in the mirror I thought again of this little baby girl growing inside me and getting stronger and what a miracle of life it is and how blessed I feel that God has given us this gift.
I was thinking back to the past few months and all the different changes, from the morning sickness, tiredness, my growing belly and just the slew of physical changes. I had some worries at first because of the miscarriage I’d had in 2008 but I didn’t feel the fear I had felt back then, despite my worries I was more hopeful. The thing that helped me the most was when I realized that things were out of my control and that I needed to just fully trust in God and that he would be the one to decide what is best for us.
I remember one day sitting at a service in church and something about the message and the music moved me yet again and during our silent prayer I talked to God and told him that I was giving myself fully to him as well as our baby, the way I had not too long ago told him that I was giving our marriage fully to him, and that I was placing all my faith and trust in him and letting go of the control I don’t have and knowing and trusting that he knows what is best. After that moment things started to change for me, the way I saw our pregnancy and the way I felt – I was able to truly enjoy each moment more.
These days a lot of different emotions wash over me and they’re very difficult to put in words, except to say that I’m so thankful to God for every moment and experience. I don’t know what lies ahead for us, what labor will be like, what changes will come in our lives… what I do know though is my love and faith in God and keeping that alive and strong.