I don’t even know how l will transform this rush of thoughts into words that make sense because I have tears streaming downing my face as I write this. In part they’re tears because I am a sentimental person and something so simple like a scene from a TV show can pull at the depths of my heart and trigger a flood of memories. Some good, some not so good. And part of the tears are from an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
I won’t say the show, but if you know it, you’ll recognize the scene. The husband and wife are dancing at a school party they are chaperoning and one of them asks something along the lines of “what will our children’s happily ever after look like?” And then the scene switches to present day where each of their children is a grown adult and the season in life they are going through is particularly rough.
At that moment my husband, who is at work, texted me a tender goodnight message. And my heart filled with so much love. And I missed him. And it reminded me how our girls had also told me they missed him as they fell asleep tonight. He works as a firefighter and so when he is at work he is gone for 48 hours or more.
And the tears were brought on because of the show and the memories that resurfaced, and again because I’m an emotional person, and because I thought, what is my happily ever after?
It is this. It is my husband, our children, our family. It is the small moments and the big moments. It is full schedules, to do lists, down time, date nights, quiet talks, laughter, tears, difficult moments and everything in between.
I also thought of a quote my husband shared with me.
“It’s the goldfish question: what is it you really want. That you’re a goldfish if your eyes bug out, your mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. That means that most people don’t take the time to figure out what they want from life. If you don’t know what you want, how can you be content?”
And I also thought, if we do not know what we want from life, how can we know where we are heading? We need to know. We need to have that vision and awareness. A sense of direction.
As I texted him back a tender goodnight, I thought of how deeply I wished he were here at home. And I buried my face in my hands, tears streaming down, and thought, this is my happily ever after.
God answered my prayers in more ways than I could ever imagine. Through every trial, heartache/heartbreak, He knew he was leading me to this.
It hasn’t always been easy. We don’t always see eye to eye. One thing is for sure though. My husband and I, we share a very clear vision of what we want from life. We are in this together. That right there is unwavering.