Life

My Heart Is Just Not In It

Lately I’ve been finding that I’m writing more because I committed to “postaday2011” and not because my heart is in it. This is in large part due to the fact that school and other life activities are absorbing much of my time, thinking, and effort. In the past few days by the time I make it to the computer (or my cell phone App) to write it’s primarily been because  I suddenly remember “shoot I forgot to post today!” And since I am determined not to break my challenge to post a day, I find myself writing more as a chore than a love. Ouch.

The same thing happened last night. It was 9:30p and I realized I hadn’t posted anything. So I quickly wrote up my “Maybe Japan” post on my phone App and hit submit. Well wouldn’t you know it, for some reason the post never went through. It wasn’t my phone’s fault or the website, it was more that I was preocuppied as I wrote up the post and instead of selecting “publish” on my phone app I inadvertedly saved it. The funny thing is I usually go back and read my posts one last time after they’ve been published and I did that last night and it seemed odd to me that the format looked different but I just figured it was still uploading and felt satisfied that I’d completed my task.

Well, I don’t want this to just be a task. I really enjoy writing and when the writing comes from my heart I feel very proud of what I’ve posted. A couple weeks ago I was writing and scheduling my posts ahead of time. This helped me a lot because I was writing when I was inspired and enjoying the process. I want to get back to that feeling.

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2 thoughts on “My Heart Is Just Not In It

  1. I understand what you are trying to achieve but ask yourself this, “Is it worth it?”. If you are forcing yourself to write something, everyday, just for the sake of posting something, I fear that you may lose the enjoyment and, as you said, it becomes a chore. Nobody likes doing chores!
    If you don’t feel like it, don’t do it. When the magic comes, go with the flow. It’s a hard task you have set yourself and I take my imaginary hat off to you. I certainly couldn’t do it. Either way, good luck and I hope that each day brings you a little bit of joy when posting!

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement! You’re absolutely right, I don’t want this to be a chore and I’m not going to give myself any grief if I happen to skip a post or two some day. It’s not worth it and it takes away from the pleasure I get from writing. I’m so glad I shared this because I feel relieved now and wouldn’t you know it, excited again to write. Thank you, your comment brought me joy 🙂

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