The other day my husband and I were enjoying dinner, the baby resting in her bassinet and Biggie at our side, when my husband said to me “we make a great team”. It made me smile to hear that, and I thought, we do! I thought about those words again this morning after finishing up an article I was reading in Self magazine.
The writer, Anne-Christine Strugnell, talks about her experience of tandem bike riding with her husband and realizing that “being independent is great. But sometimes giving up some control in a relationship can make you stronger – and closer too”. As I read her article her words rang more and more true to me, and it’s interesting that today of all days I finished the article. I believe God put those words in my path for a reason, to remind me of what my husband said, we make great team, and there’s a reason why God brought my husband and I together and gave us our baby girl – and yes our little bulldog too 😉
I think with each day that passes in our new role as parents I realize more and more that while some days are good and others are tough and filled with some not so smooth moments, my husband and I are trying to find a new rhythm together…like the rhythm the author of the article talked about when beginning to tandem bike with her husband. At first the author felt that she was losing some of her independence, giving up power to her husband and placing herself in the back seat. She realized though that although he was considered the “captain” and she was the “stoker”, with time she realized that tandem riding isn’t about the front person having total control, although it may seem like it to an outside observer, but rather, as the author put it “tandem riding is more like a dance, with constant back and forth”. She realized that they’re both working the same chain, how hard each person is working in their own role, and how nice it is to reach “an identical cadence”.
I realized this in my own life today – even more so today. I thought of how my husband and I have been trying to find that dance of ours in our new role as parents. For instance, at night, if I’ve had a long day he’ll help me by bottle feeding the baby and then the next time she gets up, since I’m feeling more rested (usually) I’ll breastfeed her. This morning we had one of those beautiful dance moments. I was wide awake at 5am after feeding Celeste and felt this pull to go to the gym. I mentioned it to my husband and he encouraged me to go, it wasn’t too early – meaning atleast it’s not 3am and I’m getting this wild idea haha. After realizing that I wasn’t going to fall back asleep I decided to go. I had an awesome workout, which actually inspired the next post I’ll be writing ;-). Thanks to my husband and I working together I was able to get home, shower up, and when Celeste woke up sooner than expected he bottle fed her, which gave me more time to finish getting ready. And so the morning continued in this steady momentum until he left for his morning class…we had this nice steady rhythm of helping each other out, working together as a team.
I realize that not all days will be as smooth as this, but that’s the beauty of it, that even though there may be moments where everything is going wrong and we’re both tired or one or the other is having a rough time, in the end by God’s love and our faith in him we have the understanding of knowing that we’re in this together, working as a team and finding that rhythm in our dance so that we’re both in a steady back and forth.
Here are a couple of my other favorite quotes from the author’s story:
But leaning on my husband when I needed to and admitting I couldn’t do everything myself made me stronger.
We’re working the same chain, each powerful on our own, but even more powerful together.