Our daughter Celeste is enrolled in Gybmoree Play & Learn classes and one of the songs they sing is one where each parent holds their baby in front of them and we sing along to tick tock, tick tock, now we’re reaching “x” o’clock, we even do the little cookoo sound to match the time we’re singing.
So as I’m at the sink a few minutes ago washing all of our daughter’s dishes and spoons and other utensils I start to think about this song and about time, and my thoughts started to go in so many directions, all of them in one way or another related to this idea of “time” and how elusive the concept of time often seems to be to me now and the different feelings that “time” seems to provoke in me.
When we’re singing the song in class it’s such a light carefree moment and it doesn’t phase me one bit or cross my mind that the minutes are going by. All I’m aware of at that moment is having fun with our daughter and enjoying being there, present.
But then as the day slowly starts to progress my mind starts to do this sort of countdown and I start making this mental note to myself of what I’d like to do before bed time and I wonder if there’s even going to be time to do it. Suddenly it feels like “time” is reminding me how elusive it is, that it’s going to flutter on by without any regard to what I desire to do with it, that it will keep on ticking by. And this brought me to another thought and sense of time.
My husband had some daddy and baby time this evening so I could get away for a little bit, and when I came home he was playing/singing one of our favorite songs to Celeste, Adele’s “One and Only”. The three of us ended up in a family hug and my husband and I sang the song to Celeste while she took turns pulling my hair and touching daddy’s face. We eventually ended up on the floor and as we’re singing this song and my husband is holding Celeste up in the air and as I’m taking in every beautiful part of her, I began to get teary eyed because I’m reminded again, in a different sense, about time. That we’re getting these amazing moments with her, but each moment has to come and go so that new moments and changes can take it’s place. And I suddenly realize what it means to desire with all my heart to be able to see Celeste grow up, to have time with her, and I think to myself “God, I hope that you will allow us the opportunity to see Celeste grow and change and become a woman”.
I shared these feelings with my husband and he made a very good point, that that is not something for us to control. And it’s true. Regardless of what I do, time is going to keep on moving along and it may mean that some days I get to do much of what I want and much of what I don’t want. What it comes down to though is that I can’t do anything about the tick, tock, but I certainly can enjoy what’s presented in that moment in time and thank God for each blessing and opportunity that he sends our way.