I’ve learned that with kids, when they are about to have a major meltdown (particularly my 3 year old) the best option is to divert. Divert attention elsewhere. Sometimes this works like a charm. Other times, she’s hell bent on being upset or can’t make sense of all the big emotions she’s feeling that diversion doesn’t work because she’s all in toward letting those emotions erupt.
Some days I feel like this too. Like I am constantly diverting my own self from the exhaustion I am feeling just so I don’t have a mommy break down of my own.
This morning I am feeling the full weight of my tired state of mind. I want to just close my eyes and lay down in a quiet place. I don’t have the energy to divert.
Monday’s are a really full day for the girls and I. The fact that I work aside (I work 4 hours in the morning – from 8:15a – 12:15pm) the day is filled with picking up Elysse after work, making sure I eat lunch, and because on Monday’s Celeste has three back to back dance lessons after school, I also have figured out that it’s best I prep and take her dinner with me so she can eat as soon as she’s done with her last dance lesson. Typically the free time I have from let’s say 1p – 2:45p I use to eat, run errands if my husband is at work or if he’s home tend to his needs. But yesterday I needed to attend a Room Mom orientation meeting at Celeste’s school, that was from 2p – 2:45p. Which means right after that I picked up Celeste and off to dance we went.
While she’s dancing I am reviewing her Monday Mail news, classwork, organizing her homework she’s going to work on, and reviewing the packet we got from the Room Mom orientation and updating anything new I need to add to my calendar. The time goes by quickly. As soon as she’s done with her last lesson at 5:45p I have her clothes ready to change because at 7pm we are back at school for her American Heritage Girls (AHG) meet up. In that 45 min before we leave the studio to go pick up her little sister (who is with Papa), Celeste eats and does her homework. This very precise time frame only works because I am the conductor & communicator making sure she stays on track and my husband knows what time to expect us home to pick up Elysse.
I wish I could say that during this AHG meetup I get to just chill and relax, but no, they appreciate parent participation so I am in the class assisting when needed. Last night was a cute class actually, it was focused around how they are all beautiful the way God made them each with their own unique features. One of the mom’s brought her Mary Kay cleansing products so the girls had fun spritzing their face with water, cleaning with the cleansing soap and then adding a little moisturizer. They all thought it was the funnest thing since they had their little tray with a mirror attached.
Anyway, we finally ended that around 8:30pm because they also did Celeste’s check off list to get her moving towards earning her Joining Badge, which I wasn’t expecting would happen last night, I thought they’d do that until next week.
By the time we got home it was close to 9pm and then it was the flurry to get the girls into bed and asleep as close to 9pm as possible. As is inevitable, I am so exhausted I ended up falling asleep with them only to wake up at 10:15pm to prep lunches and snacks for both girls for school the next day.
I had hoped to get in a good 6 1/2 hours of sleep but unfortunately, due to circumstances that I’m not going to get into detail here except to say, I ended up getting woken up by my husband at 12:30am which then resulted in me not being able to fall back asleep until 3:30am.
So today I am trying to divert my attention away from how spread thin I feel. I am dressed in the brightest pants I own so that I can remind myself that despite my tired state of mind, there are many good things in life.
But it brings me to this. Mom’s/Wives are not machines. We are not meant to be spread thin like jelly. We need rest. We need care. We need that someone to step back for 5 minutes and really reflect, to leave their own needs aside and think ‘how does she feel, what did today really look like for her, what can I do for her that doesn’t involve for one bit something I need for myself.’