When I was in High School I had this vision of graduating from college with a degree in English at age 22 and then of course meeting the love of my life and getting married by age 24 and having my first child within a couple of years of that. Little did I know then that non of that would be remotely close to my reality, and how thankful I would be that it wasn’t.
A dear friend of mine gave me a year subscription to Self magazine and I read an article called Bring on the birthdays! which has a bunch of different stories from women ranging in age from 28 – 78 and how they celebrate their age and it inspired me to write. What I loved about the article is that each women’s story had something inspiring and that I could take and learn from…like the woman who was pregnant and learned to adapt and face new challenges after the death of her husband and finding herself a single mom, to the lady that has chosen to age naturally and refuse surgical treatment to freshen up her face despite the fact that many of her friends have already begun to do so.
I’m so thankful that none of those dreams in my previous timeline turned out the way I had so meticulously thought them out in my mind because my life has been one gift after another and far better than anything I ever imagined. Yes, even despite the challenges and difficult times that came in between and got me to the point where I’m at now because every experience along the way made me stronger and more appreciative.
And then I met my husband, the love of my life, at age 31, married him at age 34, and here we are now expecting our first baby after having turned 36 this year and I couldn’t feel more blessed and more proud to say I’m 36 because I don’t feel held down by my number, I actually feel very proud. When people ask me my age I always feel so happy to tell them and I get this huge grin on my face. There are so many things I’ve learned about myself along the way and I feel like those experiences help me to greet new adventures with a smile, or even if I’m afraid of a new change to at least know that with my love and faith in God things will be alright.
And so here I am, delighted and nervous and excited for this new adventure of parenthood and also thinking of so many other things that I can’t wait to experience, complete, or try out…but that’ll be on a different post. I believe we all have our own wonderful adventures and stories that don’t turn out the way we expect and are often even better.
Purse Meets Diaper Bag 
Wow! Finally I found someone who may understand!
I had similar dreams when I was in high school. I was meant to be married with children by now (Im 28) Instead, God has brought me to Japan (with the prospect of a christian husband rather slim) and I find it so difficult at times. Nothing has turned out as I thought and my desires for a family are still unmet. Yet, I am so happy in this country, I love the people and the culture. I am waiting on God for His partner for me, as joyfully as I can – some days are easier than others. 🙂
Do you have some advice how to make it through the single years, still trusting the Lords plan and being content in the loneliness?
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Hi! Thank you so much for your comment, it’s great to know someone else out there understands when I write about something so personal. I really loved your comment, especially feeling your tremendous faith in God and the path he’s taken you on that is so different from what you had planned/expected. I think the best advice I can give you, which you already seem to be following, is to continue to trust in God and not lose faith in his greater plan for you…even if sometimes it seems like you’re going further away from what you desire in you heart because ultimately God already knows what that is. Once I accepted that in my own life and gave in to God I eventually ended up on the path I had always thought of, although with a twist =) I completely understand what that loneliness feels like and can honestly say that it was worth the wait and I know it will be for you too. He is already giving you such a beautiful gift to be able to enjoy such a beautifuly country and culture until he feels you’re ready for that next big step.
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Thanks! I was just so happy to finally read about someone in a similar situation I’m in. I have been trying to find books and things written by women who were not single in there mid 30s (that is just not encouraging to me haha) but on the other hand most of the books I find on this topic the women were already married and with children and I just cant relate to people writing books on singleness while they are married.
But your the first person I have come across who is just sharing your thoughts and to see that there is hope but that you still understand the feeling of your plans not working out and the fear that your dreams may never come true. I try my very best not to think ahead too many years worrying I wont have children or ever meet a husband. But I must say you have given me hope and a bit of peace knowing that waiting longer than we expect doesn’t mean never receiving answered prayers or desires. Congratulations on your baby as well! I am very happy for you, Truly! Truly! God is amazing!
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I know what you mean, it is somewhat funny to be receiving advice in a book from someone who is married and can’t really relate to or understand that loneliness of thinking you’re heading nowhere near your heart’s desire – especially if that person has never experienced it. Oh how I can relate with you about the worrying…I was so good at that during my single years too, and believe me I understand, please don’t lose hope/faith though. Imagine being hispanic and having most of your cousins married at 18 and having children and in the meantime here I am passing through my 20’s and my early 30’s and getting that worried or questioning look from family members haha. It wasn’t always easy and I had the same worries you did. I truly believe in my heart that God sends you what you need when he knows you’re truly ready for it and will appreciate it. I’m so thankful that he didn’t answer my prayers or desires sooner than he did because it wasn’t the right time for me just yet.
A couple weekends ago we had a really inspiring message at our Church that goes well with our conversation here. Our Pastor was talking about enjoying the gift that God has given us at the moment…whether we’re single or married. Many times we’re single and desiring so much to be married and then people who are married often find themselves missing their single times, when really it’s about fully living and enjoying where God has placed us at that moment. Our Pastor even said how sometimes married people make the mistake of treating or talking to their single friends as if they had some disease they needed to be cured of and trying desperately to find them the right person. Every stage in life is so beautiful if we really allow ourselves to live that gift God has given us. It isn’t always easy but if you enjoy the moment I think it’s more likely to reduce a feeling of nostalgia later on.
Thank you so much for the congrats on our baby!!! I agree, God is truly amazing! That’s why I have total trust that you’ll receive your prayers one day =)
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Awesome, Thanks so much really is great God lead me to this! This is an answer prayer as much as “the big one” . I appreciate your perspective and thoughts. I love reading your stuff, its just awesome to know other people understand where we are at along the way.
Can I mention your blog in one of my posts? I would love to post about having stumbled across your writing and how much it has helped me 🙂
Also, thanks for taking the time to respond, its been great!
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You have no idea what a smile you’ve placed in my heart with your feedback and comments as well. It’s wonderful to know that there’s someone else out there that can understand what I share in my writings and whose perspective and thoughts I can also enjoy. My husband always tells me, we always believe we’re the only ones that are going through x feeling of loneliness or doubt etc and then somehow God always shows us that we’re not alone, it’s very reassuring indeed to know of someone else sharing or understanding a given emotion or thought.
I’m so flattered that you want to mention my blog in one of your posts, thank you so much for asking and of course it’s not a problem at all. I’m really looking forward to enjoying your posts as well. Thank you!
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