Sometimes I have some real amazing epiphanies as a parent. Those moments where I think, wow, where did that calm and patience come from? Who is this person and what has it done to my usual impatient and easily rattled self?!
I never knew quite how impatient I can be and how easily I can get rattled until I became a parent. I think it’s because there’s nothing else in life that has turned my life upside down quite as much as parenting has and in a way where I often have little to no control over things.
I realized something important yesterday. I like to have control and to plan. To know what comes next. Parenting is so the antithesis of control and planning, to an extent. I can plan to do X thing with my kids but have no control over how that will play out, if at all.
So sometimes I avoid certain situations in order to not step into the messiness of a situation. Or I brave it but all the while heading into the situation with caution and ready to react.
Yesterday could have turned out into one of those avoidance moments.
It was such a beautiful morning and my husband was back home after his 48 hour shift at work. The four of us went to walk Biggie and then my husband suggested we go for a bike ride after breakfast. I surprised myself when I heard my immediate reaction was to say “sure”!
Typically those are the kind of moments that cause my heart to race a bit. The thought of going bike riding for the first time with our 3 month old, a little daunting. But surprisingly I was up for it and not in a “Jesus I’m nervous about this but ok let’s do it” kind of attitude.
So there we were, pedaling the two miles to the beach with my husband pulling Celeste on the Burley Bee and Elysse snug on his back in the Ergo Baby Carrier, and me following close behind on my own bike. I have to say, it was a totally cute sight.
I should probably mention I am not a beach person. I can’t stand sand getting in everywhere and how messy it makes everything. I will never be the one that suggests going to the beach. Pool yes. Beach? No. So the fact I was even up for this was amazing in itself.
My epiphany came when I realized I would end up having to nurse Elysse while at the beach. When it came time to feed her, even though she was fussy as heck and crying, I didn’t get all rattled and frustrated. I took each moment with such ease and calm, I hardly recognized this unusual reaction in me. And as Elysse fell asleep while I carried her snuggly next to me and watched my husband play in the wet sand with Celeste, I didn’t immediately get visions of the hot mess this would be to clean up later.
For once I just enjoyed each moment. I didn’t try to control or plan, I just let things be and I had a great time. Here’s some pictures that I captured:
Celeste and her papa making sand castles
They are thoroughly enjoying themselves
I captured this totally cool selfie with my husband and Celeste in the background, how awesome am I?!
I thought it was the funniest thing that my husband put her socks on and raised them as high as they’d go. Usually I scrunch them down haha