Life · Motherhood

Can there be balance in Motherhood?

I sometimes wear this light blue beaded bracelet with the word “balance”. It’s a nice reminder when I’m feeling overwhelmed; sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.

I often think of the quote “you cannot pour from an empty cup”. It’s the same idea of when you’re in a plane and they tell you that in case of an emergency to please put on your oxygen mask first before you help your child.

My cousin posted a quote on her Instagram page that rang true to me and probably would to all mother’s of the world, it went something like “your child doesn’t need a perfect mom, your child needs a happy mom.”

All this circled me back to the question “can there be balance in motherhood?”

I was going to post a picture of a timeline I quickly wrote up this morning of how my day went yesterday, which I shared with my husband. But then I thought, what for? I am sure there are countless other mothers out there with days that look just as full or possibly even fuller than mine.

The list of things to get done is endless. Some days it feels like no matter how much I am able to tackle, there is always 20 other things that went undone and those are the ones that get noticed and criticized.

It’s unfortunate that the mindset is that as a mom it’s our job to get it done and get it all done well; and not to complain about it. I am baffled by the fact that as women, if we have children, we are expected to run on empty and do it with a smile and without a single comment of feeling run down.

Which makes me think, I don’t know that there can be a balance.

On mother’s day I hand wrote a card to my mom thanking her for all the sacrifices she made while we were growing up. I finally see all that she did for us because I am doing it now for my own children; knowing that they won’t fully appreciate it until they are well in their 30’s and maybe have children of their own.

I realize now why it was she was always healthy, never bedridden, sick, or absent in my life. Ever. Moms do get sick, they get tired, they get run down; but they aren’t allowed to show it and stop and get the rest they may need. The mindset is it’s their responsibility to keep going for the sake of their children and so that things get done and the wheel keeps turning.

We pour from an empty cup and every now and then stop for a quick little refill. We skip balance so that in the midst of all the responsibilities we can color with our kids, or read them a book, or listen to their story for the 10th time, or cuddle with them, or help them solve a problem or learn a life lesson.

I quit trying to be a perfect mom a long time ago. I still beat myself up over a lot of things like what I couldn’t get done, what went forgotten, or what I did wrong. But, when I see my girls and they tell me they love me so much and that I am the best ever, well, there is nothing in the world that makes me happier or more proud. I get to be their mom. I get to love on them. I get to lead them in life and teach them.

For that, I will run on empty and skip balance any day of the week.

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