A friend of mine shared an article that a friend of hers had come across on Oprah.com called “20 questions that could change your life”. I found myself fascinated by some of the questions. Here’s one that stayed with me the most because of what happened to me Wednesday night. I’ll share more in the future as they apply.
19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can endanger your happiness. Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your circumstances creates suffering. Telling yourself a more positive and grateful story, studies show, increases happiness. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together, rather than tear it apart.
Wednesday night I went through a flurry of sabotaging questions in my mind that were all just a product of my fear and doubts – plus my massive headache also partially influenced them. It was my first day driving back from CSULB at 5:20pm (after it had taken me 15 minutes to get out of the parking structure) and my mind went on overdrive with hurting thoughts – one of which included dropping my last class. This didn’t help my headache one bit and did nothing for my happiness. Not to mention all the silly what ifs and senseless thinking about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
What I realized is that for a moment I became afraid and doubtful of my capacity to take on this full schedule at school. I was looking for an easy way out and creating a pity party for myself. And yes, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this because there are women and men out there not only going to school full time but working full time and juggling a kid or two in the process.
Sometimes it’s easy to let negative thoughts win when I let fear or self doubt take over. When that happens I’m going to be more conscious of the thoughts I choose and remind myself of the many blessings I have and that daily challenges have a way of becoming better if we choose words that heal and make us happy.