One of the biggest things I struggle with since becoming a parent is giving myself grace and being flexible. (And patience, my gosh how I struggle with patience!)
I don’t even remember how I handled success and failure pre-kids anymore. But I do know how difficult both are to me now that I have two little ones that completely throw things off balance for me.
When we first had Celeste one of the biggest things I struggled with was feeling like a total failure if I didn’t get it all done. Especially when on top of that I would see/hear situations of other moms doing way more than I felt I was accomplishing. It took me some time and many frustrations and tears to realize that I only had the capacity to do so much, because when I tried doing it all it just made my frustrations with myself greater – and at the end I would just feel more exhausted. I still struggle with this now, that notion of what is enough and not enough versus just accepting something as okay.
But I do see that overall I am improving daily. I’m not letting it feel like it’s the end all if I don’t get X task accomplished and instead I can enjoy what I do complete and laugh at myself for how type A I can be about certain things instead of beating myself up mentally over something.
Some mornings I wake up with an idea in my head of the things I would like to accomplish that day. Often I get maybe two of those things done. This used to drive me nuts in the beginning (of being a parent) but now, at the end of the day, if I happen to remember what my goal of tasks were at the beginning of the day, I just laugh it off when I realize all I got done off the check list was one thing.
I’m learning that my success and failure is not measured by these things, but instead I’m learning to just enjoy the fun, crazy, and relaxing moments that come my way. I’m learning to be more kind and gentle with myself. I’m learning that my success is in feeling good about myself and knowing that every day is new and a fresh start.
I am a success just for accepting and loving myself as I am and as I grow and change.