Hello all you lovely and beautiful people out there! It’s September 1st!
I have a friend that loves firsts. First days of the week. First days of the month. So of course this morning she shared this awesome picture on her social media page and the real cool thing is, I am right there with her today because I had a little special moment with God this morning.
Oh how I am starting to get excited about firsts as well! And this happiness and excitement I feel couldn’t have come at a better time. I have a new focus in mind that came to me this morning. Because God speaks to us and knows what great things we can do if we just listen to his whisper.
I was getting ready for work just like any other morning when suddenly I heard in my head “All you need to do is put your focus on being a mom and everything else will fall into place. Own that. Make that your focus and everything else you are trying to find will fall into place.”
I swear I did a double take. Where did that come from?! I seriously turned my head left to right in that moment to look around me. And that’s when I totally knew, it was God’s whisper and I finally was quiet enough to hear him. Because in the last couple of months my heart and my mind have been so filled with noise.
It shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone because I’ve been very open and honest about sharing that being a mom has been a rough and challenging journey for me. For some mom’s the moment they hold their babies the transition came like second nature, and that is awesome. Not for me. I have struggled with the balance between being a mom that is totally devoted to her daughter’s and a woman that has passions and dreams…passions and dreams that I am still trying to figure out what they really are and what it is I need to follow because my focus is no longer just on myself. So I read books about the challenges of motherhood and being a wife and little by little I have felt closer to where I am meant to be, only to be suddenly thrown back by the chaos and lack of control that I often feel.
There are times I have felt lost and alone and like I am playing a tug of war with myself. A tug of war with the mom I want to be and with the woman that God made me to be too. It has been exhausting and emotional.
And then today happened. I heard God’s whisper. And I realized. It’s so simple. I keep fighting and feeling this tug of war with myself because I have been afraid that if I focus on one thing, I will lose the other. But that’s not the case at all. God knows me and my path better than I could possibly know because he has created it for me.
And hearing those words this morning “All you need to do is put your focus on being a mom and everything else will fall into place. Own that. Make that your focus and everything else you are trying to find will fall into place” it made me smile. Like I had finally had my Aha! moment. And it puts a knot in my throat right now. I truly believe that if I do that, everything else I have been searching for related to my passions and dreams will fall into place. I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but I know.
And I hadn’t even really thought about the fact that it’s the first of the month. Until I saw my friend’s post and her reminder about what that could mean. There’s a reason I heard God’s whisper so clearly. It’s time for me to readjust my focus. To begin anew and allow God to guide me on the path he created for me.
I want to become a woman that can embrace being a mom – in the good and the ugly, in the chaos and the calm. I want to put my focus on that and I know that all the other beautiful things I am destined to be will unfold before me. I feel it and I know it.