I am a huge advocate of words of affirmation, believing in oneself, and not letting fear getting in the way of accomplishing our deepest goals.
Of course I realize it is one thing to promote it and another to follow through with it.
Last year when I signed up for the Pasadena Triathlon (coming up March 11, 2017) I was on a total natural high after I hit submit on the registration link. I am still super excited and looking forward to it, nonetheless though, I recently felt the fear and self doubt lurking behind the corner.
I realized a few days ago that I hadn’t actually saved the event on my phone’s calendar so I went to the website just to confirm the date because I had been thinking it’s on the 12th of March but it turns out it’s being held March 11th, which makes sense – that’s a Saturday. Whenever I mark a date on my phone calendar I have a habit of checking my husband’s work schedule too since his shift consists of 2 full days of work and then 4 days off and it just keeps rotating like that.
When I looked at his calendar I just kind of stared at it in disbelief. It couldn’t be right. His work dates are marked in red, and March 11th was marked in red. It seriously stunned me. And it was the first time fear and self doubt set in me.
When I signed up for the triathlon and told my husband what I had done his immediate first reaction was “that’s awesome chango!” (Note: “Chango” is the love moniker that we use for each other – like some people say baby, babe, or sweetie or what have you). I felt confident in myself when I signed up that I could totally do this and his immediate, no hesitation response, only reaffirmed that for me. It is so incredibly uplifting and encouraging to have someone believe in you like that.
So when I saw his work calendar and that he’s working that day, I’m going to be honest, I had a total moment (okay maybe more) of trepidation. It went something like this “Oh my gosh. How am I going to do this? He’s not going to be there. Maybe he can get the day off. No, it’s his second day of his shift, he’d have to get both days off because it starts so early, I mean hello it’s in Pasadena. He’s not going to be there. Who is going to cheer me on? What if I can’t do this.” Breathe, Yvonne. You can do this.
A couple days passed and I hadn’t mentioned this yet to my husband. Then our date night came up and as we were chatting while waiting for our food to arrive at one of our favorite Sushi restaurants, I brought it up to my husband. I told him how funny it is the way that fear and self doubt set in. I shared how he’s working the day of my triathlon. His instant response was that it’s okay I’ll do great and that just means when I’m done I’ll get to tell him all about how I did. It felt so incredibly nice to hear that.
I read somewhere once that sometimes you need someone to believe in you first in order for you to believe in yourself. I signed up for this feeling fully confident that I can do this and my husband’s words of affirmation and firm belief in me has been such a gift for me.
It has encouraged me and reminded me that it’s okay for fear to creep in. But that doesn’t mean it has to take over me. I know I can and will do this. Fear is normal. It’s what I plan to do with fear that will make the difference for me and my mind set. And I know…
I’ve got this.