It’s been quite a while since my last post and that’s because I’ve been truly enjoying this time off after finishing my Spring semester at school. I can’t even begin to explain the relief I felt when I finished my last final, pure bliss. Now that I have all this extra free time there are no more excuses on getting my writing groove on again.
So first things first…I’m finally ready to share some really big news, although truth be told there is this small part of me that still feels a little bit hesitant but at the same time there is so much I want to share and write at times and it becomes difficult when I find myself holding back or thinking…hmmm, no not yet…
My husband and I are expecting our first baby!! I found out March 7th that I was pregnant and of all places I got the news at school. I had actually gone to the school clinic to see if I could get the T-dap vaccine in order to visit one of my cousin’s who had just had a baby at the time. Before heading to the vaccine area something told me to inquire whether it would be safe to take that vaccine if I was pregnant and I remember telling the lady “but I don’t think I am”. I fully expected to get a negative. Well what a nice surprise and feeling of happiness when she told me I was. It was around 9:20am when I got the news and I felt like I was floating on air as I walked to my first class. I had a baby, our baby, inside me. I couldn’t wait to tell my husband but I was stuck at school until 5pm and didn’t want to tell him over the phone.
As much as I wanted to jump with joy and yes even write about it right away on here, there was this cautious side of me (the worrier) that sort of kept me at bay. The thing is I had a miscarriage in 2008 and a part of me was scared to get too excited for fear of it happening again. What helped me a lot was praying and talking to God. I realized that certain things are just out of my control and only in God’s hands and it has made the process much easier. Every now and then I still have these sudden moments/emotions but for the most part I have just prayed and have had faith. I still get that worried feeling now and then but it’s nothing that takes total hold of me. Another thing is that talking with my husband makes me feel more at ease, and sometimes it happens without him even having to say anything, a simple touch will just help me feel calm.
I’m 16 weeks along now and the changes in my body take me from wonder to frustration to total laughter. There are times when I’m getting ready in the morning and I’ll be blow drying my hair and I see in the mirror this baby bump sticking out and it cracks me up because I can’t believe that is my bump I’m looking at. Yes, I am in awe.
I could go on and on about this but that’ll be all for today. I will say though before I go that the most wonderful thing is all the wonderful support from my husband and my family and girl friends. I’m just so thankful to God for each and every one of our blessings.