Have you ever had one of those days where an overflow of emotions and tears seems to be just a blink away? Well this morning I nearly let my emotions get the best of me and the day could’ve easily turned into a disaster.
After my husband left for class I suddenly became so overwhelmed, emotional, and anxious. These emotional moments are rare but they do spring up sometimes. I started thinking about the fact that I hadn’t been to the gym since last Sunday and feeling very blah and critical of my body and to top it off I kept running through my mind all the readings I needed to get done for my classes and the tests I needed to study for. Oh and where would I fit in some down time, or was that even feasible? I wanted to work out and knew my body needed it but at the same time I was torn about not using that time for school stuff. After I sent an email out to my debate team I became more anxious about the fact that I had used up about 30 minutes getting that done and now I would be getting to the gym even later. My mind was like boiling water ready to overflow and take away any rational thoughts I had left.
I managed to make it to the gym only to find myself nearly on the verge of tears and ready to get back in the car to drive home because my earphones were nowhere to be found – and of course I just about turned the contents in my trunk inside out. In that thin thread between holding it all together and breaking down God suddenly helped me and I stopped…breathed…and relaxed. What was I doing to myself?
Well I chose to take control of my feelings and walked into the gym. The feeling I got as I started to walk and then run on the treadmill was just…bliss. It was like I was releasing every stress and anxiety out of my body. I had all these pent up emotions that I needed to let out and the last thing I wanted to do was find a scapegoat to lash out at (the victim would have been my innocent husband).
I am so thankful to God for helping me through that this morning and to my loving husband for being so supportive and understanding and going with me to Borders today to study. And go figure, I even managed to have some down time. Today turned out to be really great and I learned that I have the possibility each day to choose how I decide to react to different situations and whether I will be kind to myself and allow myself to feel the emotions but not let them take over me and let negative thoughts run wild in my mind.